Thalia frantically paced around her lab, occasionally pausing to shoot a glance at the entrance. She had barricaded the door with a chair that morning, hoping it would give her a few more seconds of time before Handler broke it down. Thalia had bitten her nails down to the beds from anxiety, dried blood now caking her fingertips.

The doses of Sunshine that she had injected into herself yesterday had long left her system. She only now realized what had happened yesterday night with Cam- Hander Theta. Thalia could still remember the weight of Elara’s pistol in her hands, the chill that ran through her body as she saw Handler’s head through her sights.

She had been sweating the entire walk back to her room that night, shuddering with some mix of regret and hate for both Handler and herself. Thalia’s assigned roommate, Coran Phylas, had made a comment on her condition when she had finally made it back to their shared dormitory. It was one of the only times that Thalia had ever seen the engineer worried.

Thalia had brushed off her friends’ worry, blaming stress from working on the Moonrise’s core. It had been a topic of one of their many nighttime chats, given the inherent danger of working with it. The core had been jerry rigged from Imperial scraps, and working without proper safety measures, and knowledge of the system could have gotten Thalia burned to a crisp in an instant.

Of course, Thalia had been lying through her teeth to her friend that night. The core of the Moonrise had long been stabilized, with Elara providing some assistance on its specifications. Through her work on the system however, she had developed a bit of curiosity towards its engineer.

Elara had told her that the technician’s name was “Krill”, a young man who had defected from factory work to join the rebellion. Thalia had been astounded that the entirety of the Moonrise had been developed by one person, and that it was apparently standard practice for development of rebel machines to be led by one or two engineers. At this point, Thalia had been working on the machine for a few months, doing her best to recreate its intricate components from the smoldering heap that had been left after Elara’s capture.

Coran, of course, hadn’t believed Thalia’s excuses, but decided to leave the topic alone given how troubled she had seemed that night.

Thalia had left her room in a rush the next morning, doing her best to avoid coming into contact with anybody else on base that day. Some part of her was terrified that somehow, news of her “betrayal” the previous night had spread. Handler had assured her that what had transpired in her office would stay between the two, but it did little to assuage her worries.

Even the thought that she was going to be put through the same process that Cameron had made Thalia’s heart skip a few beats. If she hadn’t been hiding from the rest of base, she would have paid a visit to the base’s doctor out of fear that her heart was going to explode out of her chest.

She refused to become a Handler, even if avoiding that fate meant sacrificing her life. Thalia had never paid much mind to the Handler program before Elara’s encounter with her sister, Maxine, but even she had known that there was typically one stationed at each base. Even after looking more into the program, she had considered where they came from. Of course there had to be some process to create a Handler.

One scene continued to play itself back in Thalia’s mind over and over, haunting her ever since that first conversation with Handler. That pained look on Elara’s face she had been raped had burned itself into her mind, leaving a terrible scar, a reminder of what Thalia had done. That sick, almost satisfied smile that Handler had given her as Sunshine had dripped to the floor from between Elara’s legs made Thalia want to hurl as she recalled it.

Theta had passed on the buck to Thalia, doing the same thing that Lambda had done to her. Lambda had pushed Cameron to her limit, testing her resolve and ideals, and somehow still turned her into a cold-hearted Imperial afterwards. Thalia was still confused how she had done it. What in the world would have made Cameron turn into Handler Theta?

Thalia was afraid that whatever happened to Cameron was about to happen to her, and that at any moment, Handler would walk in and finish the job. She imagined herself being twisted into some horrible Imperial monster, made to lead broken Hounds into battle.

She wanted to bolt out the door and run straight towards Elara’s room, hold her sweet Ellie and apologize a thousand times over. Thalia just wanted everything to be alright. She wanted Elara to be alright.

Thalia hadn’t spoken to Ellie ever since assaulting Elara, afraid that whatever piece of Elara’s mind Ellie held had been burned away, replaced with nothing but hatred for the girl that had sexually assaulted her.

Of course, Thalia couldn’t, nor would she blame her. It didn’t stop her from hoping that the one part of Elara’s mind that somehow forgave her for all she had done was still there. Thalia wasn’t sure if Ellie’s death would send her over the edge, complete whatever sick transformation that Handler had planned for her.

Thalia had considered running away, truly defecting and joining up with the rebels. The eerie similarity to Cameron’s story wasn’t lost on Thalia, but it didn’t stop her from continuing her train of thought. She refused to leave the base without Elara in tow, hoping to begin to right whatever wrongs that she had inflicted upon the broken Commander.

For a multitude of reasons, it was a dream never to be realized. Thalia knew that Elara would never willingly leave the base, leaving Handler’s side. She had seen firsthand what the girl would go through to stay by Handler, even at the cost of her friends, her health, and her life.

That left incapacitating Elara, which would make leaving the base significantly harder. Thalia was by no means particularly strong, and dragging an unconscious Elara would draw a significant amount of attenti-

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thalia jumped in response to the knocking at the laboratory door, freezing in place as she stared at it. Her impending doom had finally arrived, come to complete her metamorphosis into a true horror. The chair rattled as whoever was on the other side was trying to force the door open.

Internally, Thalia began to accept her fate, readying herself to be broken and reshaped into a monstrosity. This was it. She wondered if she had enough time to write a note for Elara before she was taken in.

“Um… Hello? Thalia- I mean, miss? Are you in there?” The familiar voice almost instantly soothed Thalia before she realized who it was at the door. If anything, seeing her was worse than another encounter with Handler.

Elara. Thalia was split between relief and horror at the realization.

Words refused to escape Thalia’s throat as she opened her mouth, afraid to make herself known. She stepped away from the door, before turning to run into the lab’s bathroom.

Click.

Thalia instinctively locked the door, before collapsing against it, sliding down until she was sitting on the ground. She had lost any and all strength to stand, instead curling up in a ball in front of the locked bathroom door. Thalia just had to hope that Elara wouldn’t come in here.

Speaking of, she could now hear that Elara had let herself into the laboratory. A loud crash could be heard from the lab, and Thalia could hear Elara cry out as she presumably crashed through the door. Elara was now walking around the lab, calling out. “Miss? Are you here? Handler said that I’d find you in here, I wanted to-”

Thalia couldn’t hear the rest as she plugged her fingers into her ears, blocking out any sound. She didn’t want to hear Elara, let alone speak to her. What if she still hated her, hadn’t forgiven her for what she’d done?

What if Handler had just sent her here to finish what she had started, forcing her down the path that Cameron had walked? Thalia didn’t want Elara to see her like that, let alone have to play a part in her downfall.

She could feel the door rumble behind her as somebody knocked on it, presumably Elara doing her due diligence. Thalia silently cursed as the knocking continued. She pressed harder against the door, as if afraid that Elara would break down this door as well.

Thalia held her breath, trying to stay as silent as possible as Elara stopped the knocking. She felt like a child, hiding in a locked room like this, but she couldn’t think of anything else to do.

“Thalia? I- I know I’m not supposed to call you that, but if it gets you to come out…” Elara sounded downcast as she spoke, and Thalia could hear her fall to the ground outside the door.

“I wanted to talk. I know I’m not supposed to want, but I think you want to as well.” She sounded as if she was about to burst into tears any moment, and Thalia considered opening the door to give the girl a hug.

At this point, Thalia assumed that Elara knew that she was locked up in here. She still half-expected her to start breaking down the door, to drag her away to Handler to finish the job, but another fragment of her wanted to hear the downtrodden pilot out.

“Okay,” Thalia gently whispered on the other side of the door, closing her eyes as she leaned her head on the doorframe. The cold metal sapped heat from her head, and she latched onto that feeling to keep herself centered.

Elara lit up a bit at the response, releasing a breath she didn’t know that she was holding in. She sat with her back to the wall, making sure not to block the entrance to the restroom, should Thalia choose to come out. “Yeah, I- Promise you won’t get mad?”

Thalia smiled to herself, and almost nodded, before realizing that Elara couldn’t see her. “Yeah, I won’t get mad.” How could she get mad at her? It wasn’t her fault that Thalia had assaulted her.

Another weight was lifted off of Elara’s shoulders as she sunk further into the wall. “So it’s about. Well, the last time I saw you. I’m sure I don’t need to say any more than that. I wanted to say that I’m-”

“Sorry,” Thalia cut her off. “I’m sorry.” Thalia tried to stop, but the words kept flowing out. “I know that you’re not a person, or whatever Handler told you, but I should have done better. I went too far. You’re not a tool, or a toy to be abused, Ellie.” She choked for a moment, but didn’t stop.

“I saw it in your eyes, the pain, how much you didn’t want it, but it wasn’t enough to stop me until I was the one who got hurt. I’m sorry.” Thalia spewed out the words, not stopping to breathe until her face started to turn red. She gasped for air, finally allowing Elara to speak.

Instead, Elara just… giggled, and then started to laugh. She collected herself, before responding. “I was about to say the same. Well, almost the same. I’m sorry. I- well, I am a tool, but it wasn’t the abuse that made me hate it. I saw it in you, and how much you didn’t want to do it. You aren’t Handler, you’re nothing like her.” Elara chuckled again, sighing as she took a moment to piece her thoughts together a little more.

“Something gnawed at me, before she called you in. I knew more than you probably think I did. She told me everything, and wanted to make sure I agreed. What you saw in me wasn’t pain, but regret, Thalia. I… I regret doing that to you. Letting it happen. I’m here by choice, after all,” Elara finished off her little tirade.

She closed her eyes, the harsh lights of the lab too much on top of the wave of emotions that were washing through her mind. Elara felt a chill run up from her spine, spreading to the tips of her extremities.

Thalia wasn’t sure what to respond at first, baffled at the shockingly well put together response from the girl she thought was nearing a state of brain-death. She pulled her legs closer to her chest, letting a few tears drop onto her knees.

“I- well, I’m not sure how much choice is involved in getting drugged and tortured, but… thanks. It helps a lot. I’m- Did you really agree to that? Being used like that?” A tone of disbelief colored the question, Thalia still not wanting to believe Elara.

“Yeah, I did. As much as I can agree to anything here. Whatever part of me that would have hated that before my capture… died.” Elara felt the self-admission bite at her mind, as if cementing the fact into reality.

Elara swallowed before continuing, “I’m not- her anymore. I’ve been cooked down, disassembled into whatever she, Handler, needs from her. If anything, you’ve been something keeping the edges of my mind from breaking apart. Grounding me. Elara was hunted, fair and square, you know?”

Elara wasn’t sure who was even speaking anymore, admitting things that she wasn’t certain she had realized yet. With everything laid out in plain words, Elara suddenly felt so much smaller.

Click.

Thalia opened the door, having finally gotten to her feet again. She looked down to the left, looking at Elara, the girl’s cheeks wet with tears. Thalia bent over, rubbing away some of the wetness, and planted a gentle kiss on her head. “It’s okay, Ellie. You don’t need to keep going.”

The former commander looked up at Thalia, her vision fractured into a million possibilities. She shivered, feeling herself slip away into her own psyche. “Please… I’m sorry, Pyr. I just- I want to go h-” The word was caught in her throat as the fragment of herself that she considered dead fought against her fragile mind.

“Shh… It’s okay,” Thalia pulled Elara into a hug, holding her tight as she spasmed. “She’s right here. It’s going to be okay. You’re home, Ellie.” It was the least Thalia could do for the girl she had ripped everything away from, right?

The words that Handler spoke rang through her mind.

She never had a choice in that room. Elara Callisto died on the battlefield, long before she was captured.

Thalia decided what she would be then and there. She chose to believe Elara, or what was left of her, instead of Handler. Thalia would never become what Handler expected of her. Elara was alive and well, in her arms. She would see Pyralis again. It was her choice to be here, and Thalia would help her choose to leave. To forgive herself.

She whispered something to the shuddering Elara, pressing her lips close to her ear, “Gregory and Erada.” It had been the first time that Thalia had spoken her parent’s names since their death. “They weren’t your fault, Ellie. My parents attacked you first. I know you did your best to keep them safe. I forgive you for them.”

Elara could almost see a number tick down in her mind as Thalia confessed her thoughts.

Eight kills left.

Seven kills left.

Elara could feel another tear leak from her near-empty tear ducts as she was overcome with sudden love for Thalia. She realized that Thalia had listened to her, back when she was in the kennels. That concrete room that held all those conversations she held so close to her heart.

Thalia wasn’t done, though. “Maxine,” her voice cracked a bit as she spoke. It hurt to forgive Elara for her death, but she knew in her heart that it was the right decision. “She was my fault. I didn’t- couldn’t save her in time. She never blamed you for her own death, and I should have forgiven you the day I met you. Carry her shield with pride. She wanted you to have it.”

The admission weighed on Thalia’s shoulders as she finally took on the responsibility of her sister’s death, and she began to cry alongside Elara.

Six kills left.